i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
