i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize