She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I think people are normalizing furries
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
