areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
