the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Randomize
