It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
