Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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