Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
