Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
