it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
