she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
