in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
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