from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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