Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize