So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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