He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
