I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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