Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
