Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
