I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
