the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Terrible idea I love it
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
