She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I need a beard to bite.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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