I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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