I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
