he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
