well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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