Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
