The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
