She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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