I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
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