This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
