And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
