Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize