How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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