I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
