sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
