I wish i was in the wii world.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
