so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
