i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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