He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
