she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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