1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
