There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
