need another drink. this is the easiest way
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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