maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It's rum buckets o'clock
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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