And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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