it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize