I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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