Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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