you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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