that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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