Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
