I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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