She is in my trunk
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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