If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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