Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
