mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
