this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Panties = found
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
