he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
