I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
