haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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