O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
