i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
