i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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